Brandon and I have been talking a lot lately about how we want to "live intentionally." We feel like to this point, we have let life happen to us, rather than take steps toward building the life that we want. (I will note here that the one thing we feel like we have absolutely done with intention and purpose is having our children. We do not feel as if they have in any way held us back from anything. Indeed, if anything, it is that we haven't fully lived up to our responsibilities to them.) We talk about the lifestyle we want to have, where we want to live, hobbies we want to have and talents we want to develop, etc. but when it comes right down to it we really haven't been great at setting and sticking to goals, deciding what steps we can take now towards having the life we want later. We have just kind of always hoped it would come. We have finally realized this and are taking some measures to change this. From small things like me finally deciding it's time to tackle the art of making bread, (to help budget better, develop a hobby, and most importantly to become more self-sufficient) to becoming more serious about budgeting and career goals.
Whilst thinking about all of this I came across this post: Why I took My Kid's Toys Away {and why they won't get them back} This really hit home to me. Yes, partly because I could relate to the author's experience of having kids who whine for new things and don't help out come chore time, but more importantly because I felt like this was the answer to helping my children get a head start on what Brandon and I are just figuring out. I find that my kids, (and I) are most often looking to be entertained. We get "bored" and rather than find something worthwhile to do, we find some way to be entertained. Not that life has to be all work and no play, but another part of this "living intentionally" that Brandon and I have talked about is being "producers" more often and less "consumers." Besides, not everything that takes some work to accomplish is lacking in fun. We find that too often, we let the kids turn on the Wii, because there's no good reason to say no, or we turn on a video because we just need a bit of quiet, rather than direct them to activities that are enriching and skill-building or strengthen our family relationships, but take a bit of work on Mom and Dad's part. I also felt like this was the way to achieve some changes around the home that we had always talked about, but haven't been consistent about maintaining.
I also want to instill in them that acquiring things is not what leads to happiness. Maybe this above all else. I think it is human nature to think that once we have x,y, or z life will be so much easier, we will be happier, we will have "arrived." It simply isn't so. Life is what you make of it and you choose your own happiness. To this end, we've been working over the last few years to get rid of things we don't need. This was largely started by me not wanting to pack all of our crap as we move around following Brandon's job, but as we realized how much we didn't miss all of that stuff, we've come to value having things that we actually use and less that is superfluous.
Teaching responsibility was a big reason for moving forward with this as well. The boys are great at cleaning up and helping out. They know what the family routine is and what their part entails. I haven't been quite as good at teaching the girls. It's silly really. I know that kids learn so quick once you just take the time to show them how to do a task but sometimes that week of making a bed or teaching to put things where they belong at a toddlers pace while missing out on time that could be accomplishing another task is frustrating to me. It really just makes things harder in the end though and I know this. This post felt like the answer to so many missing pieces lately that I was excited to try it out.
Previously our kids' toys had all been downstairs in our extra living room. We don't have two sets of living room furniture, so it was just a toy room. This was a bad thing, because the only other used space in our basement is the boys' bedroom. I never have another reason to go down there, (and usually don't) and it was most often a free-for-all for the kids when they did. The girls especially would make a game out of tossing every toy willy-nilly all over the room and then were impossible when it came time to clean up. It was my own fault and I knew it. I've always known too that a play area is best when it is near where I spend the majority of my day, not only so I can supervise better, but also because that is naturally where the kids want to be too. So I knew that the implementation of all of this not only had to make more of their toys inaccessible, but that the ones left out had to be more accessible. (The stairs are closed off by a baby gate for Noah, so the girls couldn't come and go as they pleased.)
We spent the best part of the next day organizing our toys. We threw out a few things that were broken or really just junk and the rest were organized into the spare room that we have downstairs. This room has a lock on it, so it is ideal for storing toys where the kids couldn't get to them. I then let each of the girls pick a toy, and we brought them upstairs to this:
Lucky for us, the upstairs living area is spacious, and we've always had this extra space behind the couch. It was just the bookshelf here before. We cleared two of the shelves of our books, and moved the kids' books up here. I wish we had done this so much sooner! I have always felt that it is best to have kids' books at the ready, but we haven't always been great at sharing our "grown-up" space with them. I was so glad to move the toy kitchen up as well! It was a toy I played with and loved as a little girl, and just before Emma was born I refinished it. Ever since we moved to Kansas I felt like it's just been tucked away and it was so fun to bring it up and give it a place to be displayed. This is where we will store the toys of the moment. Right now it has the girls' Duplos that they got for Christmas, a few trucks, and a couple of princess dresses. Also a pop-up toy for Noah. We also added in the kids' table because we thought it would make the space nicer and more inviting for the kids. We also hope that it makes a clear space that kids' things belong, so that toys are easily played with without being dragged all over the house. The toys in the kitchen will be rotated with what is downstairs as often as we feel is necessary so that they continue to hold interest without being overwhelming.
Before you start thinking that our poor children are deprived, this is not exclusive of everything fun. Puzzles, crayons, and games are where they always have been, close by in closets where only Mom can reach. And if you're wondering about the boys, this is also not as much for them. They are old enough that 1) they're more responsible anyway and 2) the toys they are interested in, (snaps circuits, legos and the like) aren't suitable for being in the girls' reach anyway and are already stored either in their room or for the most part, where the girls' games and puzzles are.
Now, I know that this was all accomplished only a few days ago so it is still a novelty, but so far the kids love it! Even the boys. The girls are most often found in this little nook. They seem to love having a space of their own that is still right in the middle of things. The boys have been reading for fun more often than they have of late, (Parker usually reads before bedtime, but I have been hard pressed to get Drew reading other than his schoolwork during the day until now and while Paige has loved reading, her books weren't accessible to her). It was also really handy today to have the little girls engaged in playing out of our hair when we got back into the swing of our schoolwork today.
Another thing that I have noticed and hope will continue, is that the kids are asking for puzzles and games more often than they used to. They are playing with the few toys for a long time, but when that is done, they are thinking first of these than of the toys downstairs. I'm also hoping that this will help me to be better at engaging them in this type of play or active outdoor play when the weather is warmer, rather than turning on convenient electronic means of entertainment.
It has also really really helped the girls keep their room clean. No toys were supposed to be kept in their room before, but they would always creep up, and because they couldn't easily get to them downstairs before, I was usually a sucker for letting them clutter up in there. Now that all there is to do is make their beds and pick up clothes, it seems much more manageable for little hands to do, and I haven't had any complaints when it is time to do so.
I am so excited about this change! I really don't know why we haven't done something like this before. We've read and discussed things like this before, but it was almost like it took me seeing how someone in real life actually went about implementing it before I felt it was manageable. In the end while it took time, it really wasn't all that much work, and the simplicity of it all makes for a happier home and space that is well-used.
Along the same lines, I found this post the day after we got done. If anyone needs some organization ideas, this post was great as well! Principles of an Organized Playroom at Modern Parents Messy Kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment